Singapore Idol

This is a funny article on the upcoming Singapore Idol. The following views doesn not represent my stand on the events and is purely for reference basis. The Article can be retrieved at http://www.morakimo.com/.


OUG, KL (Malaysia): By the time you read this, you would've already know the new "American Idol" winner. Else if you are still hibernating inside your coconut husk, the winner is Fanatasia Barrino. Yeah the quirky voice one. And by now the Malaysian Idol have already conducted auditions in Penang, Sarawak and Johore and moving to get talents from KL in the next few weeks before commencing it proper. And by this weekend Singapore Idol will kick-off its auditions, hoping to attract young talents-wannabes to participate in this multi-million dollar talentime show. That makes me wonder, will this Singapore Idol work in Singapore?? After a tedious research I present to you my thesis called "Why Singapore Idol Will Not Work".

AUDITIONS

This is the most important aspect of getting into Singapore Idol. This is where future stars are spotted. This is where Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, Fantasia Barino were spotted and not forgetting William Hung, for the wrong reason obviously. This is problem #1 for Singapore Idol.

In the US, the auditions are held at different cities across the country every season change, and the route to get to these auditions can be a long road for some, especially for someone who lives in Texas, travelling all the way to Hawaii to get that devine golden ticket. And having that ticket in your arms after auditioning and shouting "I'm going to Hollywood!!!" is a very exciting feeling.

In Singapore, the transportation system is well-connected and going for the auditions can be just a 30 minutes train ride. And after getting that ticket, how would the contestants react?? By shouting "I'm going to Caldecott Hill!!??" Well I can easily go there everyday, just a 30 minutes bus-ride away.

Even if the auditions were to be held at various parts of the island republic like in Jurong or Bedok or Woodlands, how many people will turn up?? Will it make any difference if you compare a talent from Jurong and a talent from Bedok?? Unlike comparing Texas and Hawaii or Penang and KL??

POST-AUDITION

This is where successful auditonees managed to get that golden ticket to Hollywood and stay in Hollywood for the next rounds of selections and eliminations, to get that exclusive group of 12 finalists.

Problem #2 for Singapore Idol. Where will successful Singapore Idol auditionees be at this stage?? Will they still be staying in their houses or being housed in the nearby Toa Payoh hotel??? (ooops my mistake its not a hotel, its the HDB Hub) Or will they be placed in a resort hotel in Sentosa or get dumped into army barracks at the unused Camp 1 in Pulau Tekong?? Or will they be staying at Caldecott Hill until the final 12 are selected??

JUDGES

Ok let's assume that the 12 finalists have already been selected, let's talk about judges. In the American Idol, the judges comprised of respected individuals in the music industry, in their own respective field. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and the notorious Simon Cowell. In Malaysian Idol, we have Paul Moss, Roslan Aziz and Fauziah Latiff. Credible lineup.

Its just be announced that 4 judges are selected for Singapore Idol. (Waaah so kiasu must have extra 1 judge than Malaysia). They are Dick Lee, Ken Lim, Florence Lian and Douglas Oliveiro. Hmmm...looking at these names, something is not right rite?? Dick and Douglas will provide their wealth in the music business to good use while a Radio boss and record company director, who talent-spotted Phyllis Quek, Jeanette Aw and Michelle Saram, will provide more preety faces?? I'm not sure how a Radio boss can judge a singing contest. Hullo we are not looking for radio deejays here. And we are also not looking for preety actresses who can't sing. Where's Anita Sarawak, Najip Ali, Jacintha?? Of course we wouldn't want to create a commotion on the set with Dick and Ja, due to their maritial history. Also whos gonna be the "Simon Cowell" of Singapore Idol?? Every show must have the bad guy rite? Glenn Ong, whos famous for his "bullet-popping-laser-mouthed-straight-in-your-face" comments would've made the perfect villain. Else Singapore Idol will be just a bore with the usual goody-goody comments.

TALENTS

Well lets not talk about talents 'cos I know theres a lot of talents in Singapore, just that these talents are more productive in foreign land than in their own country. On a second thought, why not we NOT waste anybody's time and money and heartaches and just put Kit Chan, Stephanie Sun, A-do, Ferhad, Hetty Sarlene, Hazrul Nizam, Guz, Roslan Shah and all ex-members of Echo Boys to form the 12 finalists and let them battle to be the first "Singapore Idol"??

FINALE

Ok lets fast forward to the finale, where 2 finalists will battle to win that precious "Singapore Idol" winner with the promise of a lucrative recording contract, fame, fortune, bla bla bla. As in the "American Idol" we get to see how the finalists got back to their hometown and got a rousing reception from their citizens there. Thousands of fans thronged their airports, schools, stadiums to welcome their "American Idol hero/heroine", their support and reception is just overwhelming.

Lets put it into Singapore context, do you expect a Singapore Idol finalist to receive such a turnout when she returns to her HDB estate in Jurong or Bedok?? Will Jurong-ers and Bedok-ers come out of their houses and greets him/her with and ovewhelming reception?? Looking at things, I'm afraid not. Where we are not allowed to have public gatherings of more than 8 person in a group and conduct mass rallies, such "Singapore Idol" reception is like wishing for snow in Singapore.

So wheres the excitement gonna come from??

HOST

Alas the organizer managed to get our funnyman, Mr PCK himself, Gurmit Singh, to provide us with some entertainment throughout the show. But his airtime is gonna be limited though. 'Cos this is a talent contest, not a sitcom or a stand-up comedy. Although his name satisfies the requirement to emulate "Seacrest Out" with "Gurmit Out", his presence may not appeal to some viewers 'cos people are so used to him watching PCK or hosting his "floppies" like "Live On 5", "Tonight With Gurmit" and "Smalltalk". And even that horrendous sitcom "Brothers 4". We need a fresh face to host such a program, a cute boyish face for a change. Else "Singapore Idol" will just be another "Fame Awards" or "Talentime" with SMS voting.

WINNER

Which reminds me what happen to those past winners of "Fame Awards" and "Talentime"?? Sean Ghazi, Darryl Seah and Cherry Chocolate Candy?? I thought they were promised lucrative recording deals after winning the talent show?? What happened to them?? I cannot imagine what a "Singapore Idol" will be a doing 1 year after his/her winning fame?? Maybe he/she will just be another Jurong-er, taking the MRT train to work and staying at the same HDB block as you.

To all those going to audition for "Singapore Idol" this weekend, all the best of luck, fame and fortune!